| JOKES FOR YOLKS! | ||||||||||||||||||||||||
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| HI! I found these really nice jokes and i wanted to say them! | |||||||||||||||||||||||
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Perfect | There was a perfect man who met a perfect woman. After a perfect courtship, they had a perfect wedding. Their life together was, of course, perfect. One snowy, stormy Christmas Eve this perfect couple was driving along a winding road when they noticed someone at the roadside in distress. Being the perfect couple, they stopped to help. There stood Santa Claus with a huge bundle of toys. Not wanting to disappoint any children on the eve of Christmas, the perfect couple loaded Santa and his toys into their vehicle. Soon they were driving along delivering the toys. Unfortunately, the driving conditions deteriorated and the perfect couple and Santa Claus had an accident. Only one of them survived the accident. Who was the survivor? The perfect woman. She's the only one that really existed in the first place. Everyone knows there is no Santa Claus and there is no such thing as a perfect man.. * A Male's Response * So, if there is no perfect man and no Santa Claus, the perfect woman must have been driving. This explains why there was a car accident. THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR DURING SURGERY Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy. Someone call the janitor - we're going to need a mop. "Accept this sacrifice, O Great Lord of Darkness" Bo! Bo! Come back with that! Bad Dog! Wait a minute, if this is his spleen, then what's that? Hand me that....uh....that uh....thingie. Oh no! I just lost my Rolex. Oops! Hey, has anyone ever survived 500ml of this stuff before? Darn, there go the lights again... "Ya know, there's big money in kidneys. Heck, the guy's got two of 'em. Everybody stand back! I lost my contact lens! Could you stop that thing from beating? It's throwing my concentration off.. What's this doing here? I hate it when they're missing stuff in here.. That's cool! Now can you make his leg twitch?! I wish I hadn't forgotten my glasses. Well folks, this will be an experiment for us all. Sterile, shcmerile. The floor's clean, right? What do you mean he wasn't in for a sex change.....! Anyone see where I left that scalpel? And now we remove the subject's brain and place it in the body of the ape. OK, now take a picture from this angle. This is truly a freak of nature. This patient has already had some kids, am I correct? Nurse, did this patient sign the organ donation card? Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough. What do you mean "You want a divorce"! She's gonna blow! Everybody take cover!!! FIRE! FIRE! Everyone get out now!!
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